Published December 5th, 2006
in Non-Finance and Misc. Humor.
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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
CC: Company President, Company CEO
FROM: Company CFO
DATE: December 5, 2006
SUBJECT: NOVEMBER 2006 EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH JANE SMITH
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen:
Many fishermen headed to the Alaskan ocean last August to catch halibut, but November’s employee of the month “hatched” her own secret plans. Not unfamiliar with “cutthroat” competition, Jane Smith hooked a blue shark and persuaded it to tangle up all the other lines, thus deftly eliminating all competition! (note to self: check for other EOTM candidates tied up with 50-lb test line in the closet . . .) Fishy conspiracies aside, Jane’s creel of personal attributes includes composure, organization, and logistical skills which make her a “reel”-y obvious choice for this trophy . . . er . . .recognition.
We lured her on board in February 2004 as Bob Jones assistant, and she now serves as one of our transportation coordinators. The bait of her salmon-colored resume may have landed her the job she was angling for almost three years ago, but she set the hook with her ability to coordinate and locate the various resources that keep our transportation department “swimming” along.
She’s no stranger to “chumming” around with co-workers as evidenced by these “fish stories”:
- Even with trucks being tight (like sardines), she keeps a positive attitude and never cuts bait
- Her positive attitude and levelheaded demeanor have added to her outstanding contributions
- She’s able to befriend almost anyone, making our work environment a lot more pleasant and fun (and less “crappie”)
- She’s got the best laugh and a quick smile that can make even an old “crab” chuckle
- Jane has an amazing work ethic that makes her a valuable member of our team – we’re lucky to have her! (she’ll “tackle” anything)
- Jane is no catch and release! She’s essential to our organization and kicks “bass”!
Jane and her “buoy”, Dennis (a real “keeper”!), live out near the foothills while Dennis ties off his bachelor’s degree at our local college. Dennis will then don hip waders for law school — we’ll assume Jane didn’t know about that ambition before she went for him, hook, line and sinker. Jane has also motored slowly back onto the “school” (get it?) scene to troll for her own degree. Jane netted a trip to a local NBA game with Dennis. She must have been a good luck charm because her team reeled in a win at the buzzer (note to self: be sure Jane is there for our next trip to Las Vegas). We didn’t just pick her “on the fly”, Jane is a perfect fit for this award.
Please take a minute to congratulate Jane to let her know how proud we are to have her “perch”-ed on our mantel (or team, or whatever).
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