Here’s another installment in my “Help My Kid Sis Jazz Up Company Memos” series. (NOTE: Names have been changed to protect the innocent/accused/insert-your-favorite-adjective-here.)
DATE: SEPTEMBER 22, 2006
MEMORANDUM TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: THE CFO
SUBJECT: JUANITA GONZALEZ
Señores y Señoras:
Please join us in giving a warm bienvenida to Juanita who joined us just two weeks ago. She will report to Chris Jones and brings bilingual skills and other education and experience to our delightful company.
The fact that she was born and raised way out in one of the sprawling Wyoming suburbs isn’t something we’ll hold against her. For one thing, the Woodchuck (her high school mascot) Dating Service worked much better for her than eHarmony.com, and she didn’t have to deal with Dr. Neal Clark Warren and his 29 dimensions of compatibility. In fact, José (AKA “The Cradle Robber”) found her without any trouble and they began dating when she was only 14 years old. He liked what he had found!
After dating all through high school and college – she earned an Associate’s Degree in Marketing and Management from the local technical college – he finally convinced her to marry him. They moved in a little closer to “the city” when a couple of years ago they bought a house only a few miles out of town. Some family members take the “Mi casa es su casa” thing literally and come for extended visits, a fact which has Juanita and José considering a one-bedroom house on their next purchase.
Away from work you will find Juanita scrap booking, dancing, or at a fiesta with her large wonderful family (17 uncles and aunts on her side). She also loves to travel and has every year since she just before meeting José. Of all the places she visits, her favorite is Mexico and the paradise-like scenery. Not only is it great to get away and see family, but who can argue with gratis room and board?
Por favor, take the time to introduce yourself and welcome her. And if you have the chance, ask her this joke:
¿Si un elefante cae en un río, cómo sale? (Hint: Mojado)